MadInLovewSarmie's Xanga

State of Mark...

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:11:19 GMT

    I think I'm depressed. One would know right if they were? All the signs are there for me though..I feel detached from life and friends..I don't find enjoyment in the things I used to enjoy..I sleep a lot..I don't eat as much as I used to..I didn't feel this way when I was with Mell (recently)..when I was with her I was the happiest I've been since like 2 years ago before that time when I was with Abby, maybe even happier.

    I'm not in school right now. I dropped my Calculus class in the summer cuz the teacher was a dick..and I wasn't feeling him or the class. I'm attempting to enroll into National University and pursue Nursing. The only thing thats holding me back is the naggin fact that its going to cost a lot of money.

    I'm thinking about it and I probably should get another part time job. To help pay for bills and for the extra gas money Imma need driving to class and anywhere else. I'm at a really really low point in my life..I never thought I would get at this point. I would call this my Dark Ages.

    Hopefully when I report back on here..things will be brighter..and I'll get outta this stall that I'm in.

Ninja Bloggin..

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:05:51 GMT

@ work..doin some "Ninja Bloggin"...cant let anyone else see me. Haha...

I have someone on hold right now cuz they are callin about their cat to see if its rdy for p/u...imma leave them on hold for just a little bit more since the dr is not available to tell me otherwise.

Had a weird dream last night/this am...it was about Mellanny's bf...IM NOT GAY..ill explain later.

Also..today went with Mell to Mesa and dropped her off and went to sleep in the car..then went to go eat at Bennigans..then walked around Bed Bath and Beyond..then to Ross. More later..lemme jump on this call..

Journal Entry #1 : Enter Mellanny..

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:05:19 GMT

I always end up wanting to type soo much out..but I get so much into it that I lose interest shortly after then I get tired and lazy...like now.

So much has happened (durr) since the last entry that Ive made. I feel bad for not putting it all in..since I know those moments in time were unforgettable but its the details I wanted to put in.

For this first entry of many..I will simply put..

Enter Mellanny...

It says soo much right now to me..and I know that whenever it feels like nothing else can beat it..something comes around and does. I need to get some sleep right now..have to wake up early and do a take home math quiz..and meet up with MELLANNY at Starbucks on Central.

Sick in the head / Plaza ritual / Echoes of the past...

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 05:33:58 GMT

Woke up today at 2 am and drank some Theraflu then went back to sleep...woke up again and took out the 2 scrunched up toilet paper tissues from my nose...went to the bathroom and blew my nose...and washed my face. Then I took a shower (retarded that I washed my face first when I was going to take a shower anyways..haha). Afterwards I took two Benadryl pills in preparation for the onslaught of boogers that would eventually be attacking me full scale when I get to work.

When I got to work thats when my head started to hurt...and nose was all messed up...I hated answering the phone and talking because the people couldnt even understand me and I dont blame them...I felt light headed and if i just stood still and listened I could feel my whole head throbbing. I told my co workers that I didnt feel well and apologized ahead of time if I didnt talk much. They sympathized and asked me if I wanted to go home and I told them that I wasnt too sick to be sent home and that I could still work ( i wanted to save that card for a future day = )

I was in the office for a good part of the day with my head on the desk just half sleeping (im like sleeping but paying attention to whats going on around me; guess you can call it putting your head down and resting?). I went to Wings and Things to eat some of their chicken strips because they always clear my sinuses...but it was only temp..I went to Wells Drugs and bought some Vicks sniffing thingy...WOW...that stuff really works...it cleared my nose and I was able to breathe again. I waited for 5 pm to hit then I cut out and headed for the NFCU ATM on sweetwater....

when i was getting some cash out and this one check that I was going to deposit I looked to my left and saw an uncle sitting in his car reading a newspaper and didnt pay much attention to it. When i got out of my car and closed the door I looked at him again and he was like looking right at me...then he locked the doors of his car and he wasnt even trying to be sneaky about it. In my head I was like WTF MAN!?! This fool thinks Imma rob him or something? That offended me hella. FUCK HIM!

Went to Plaza...place was packed (mexicans everywhere). Couldnt find any close parking so had to park hella far. Went inside and did my tours around the mall...walked past Gamestop and was like, nah...walked past B dalton and was like, nah....walked to Hot Topic and saw some WoW booster packs for $4.99 and was like, nah...walked to Pac Sun and looked around in there a while...finally saw a shirt I like and picked that up. Walked to the food court and went to the bathroom.

Weird thing happened in there...I went inside and saw a guy washing his hands nothing weird there...went to the urinal and was like...man, where am I going to set my bag...I didnt want to put it on the floor because there was piss there..I didnt want to hang it from the urinal because it would be in my line of fire, haha....so I just gripped it in between my legs. 3 secs after I start another mexican guy comes up next to me and uses the urinal on my left...this guy THROUGH MY PERIPHERAL VISION ( I didnt look straight at "it") comes up to the urinal and goes...I didnt even see him unzip or unbutton anything...that means that he came into the bathroom and before he even got to the urinal he had already pulled his thing out....that was kinda weird...the weirdest part...was when he was going he was making moaning sounds and like moving his body side to side...I felt awkward and was trying to hurry to finish...he even got more weird by laughing...at that point I just stopped and left.....he scared me a little hahha

Found an old cd in my backpack...i think its like 2 yrs old ( i know i know..thats not old). Its Jimmy Eat World : Futures CD. Man...listening to that brought back some like vivid memories of before.

I bought that CD when I was with Abby at Fashion Valley. I think at Sam Goody or something...all I know is that its upstairs across from where KB Toys used to be. I bought that CD along with Gwen Stefani's Love Angel Music Baby CD.

I remember picking up Abby after her work at Auntie Anne's..then driving on the 8 listening to that CD with the windows down and bumping Jimmy Eat World...Abby would be sitting there talking to me or whatever and when we got to her house (at the time it was on Michael St) we would just sit outside and talk about whatever...and that CD would just be playing in the background.

Listening to it now..i could just picture those days...those nights...things seemed simpler and easier during those times...go to school...go to work...hang out with Abby...hang out with friends...call it a day, and repeat.

Its like this CD has a secret connection with my brain...like for reals...I play one track and I could picture the past...and when the next song comes on...another series of pictures comes up. Wow, is this like a repressed memory? Wait, I think repressed memories are bad ones right? well, these aren't bad...they were good times.

*sigh*

.........................

Black Friday....

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 06:38:25 GMT

Well...im typing this out on my new HP Laptop...its really nice.

Its a gift from my dad since I couldnt get anything from Best Buy, Circuit City, or Staples...even though I woke up like 4am in the morning for that shit. Imma pay my dad back though. I think he just felt bad that i was all excited about getting like a new monitor or something from those places...and ended up not getting one thing.

My dad bought a 6.0 megapixel Sony Cybershot camera along with a 37inch plasma TV from Exchange. I cant wait till he installs it and we can watch like high definition TV stuff...whatever that means.

This laptop is even good enough to play some of my computer games..even WoW...oh man, work will never be the same...hahahahah

JM is back too btw...i told him that we should go to the gym more (for my sake)

Missed opportunity...

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 22:31:27 GMT

Man...(banging head)

I should have pre-ordered the Nintendo Wii and the Playstation 3...man (banging head)...

Verbal Warning...continued

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 16:06:31 GMT

Alright...here at work. Gonna finish up...

So after the police guy flashes his lights I pull over to the side...when I stop he talks on his loud speaker and says for me to pull into the parking lot since we were in the way of traffic...I pull into the parking lot and just wait. I looked at Vince and was like "Fuck man, Im sorry"..he was like its cool.

I roll down both windows and the police man was like do you know why I pulled you over..and I looked at him and was like no sir I dont. He was like, you have a busted a tail light in the back (MAN! I knew that shit would get me trouble time and time again. That thing just comes and goes..its fixed one day then the next its out...then its fixed). He asked us where we were going and I told him that we were heading to Denny's to eat with some friends. He took out his flashlight and was looking near my feet and he asked me what I had near my feet...I was like, OH SHIT (I had some brass knuckles that vince gave me under my seat and I thought that they came out when I braked and the officer saw them)...I looked and it was only my "club"..I pulled it up and was like, oh, this is my club for my car sir. He then looked in the back seats with his light but didnt see anything interesting.

He asked for license, registration, and insurance..the license I gave to him right away...the registration I found in the glove compartment after about 8 secs..and my proof of insurance...the ones I gave to the officer..were all expired....!!!!

I thought I put everything in there...I looked at the officer and was like please give me a minute..I know its in here is what I told him...Vince tried helping me but we couldnt find the current one...In my head i was like, great fucking time to look stupid. The officer was there for like 3 mins. and he said Il be right back...when he left Vince told me...hey man, its cool..I dont even have my current one in my car..its in my room somewhere...dont worry about it....the officer came back and was like, did you find it. I told him no sir...then he asked me if I've ever been to jail or was on probation for anything...the first thing that came to my mind was the Exchange thing but I kept that to myself...I told him no...then he gave me back my license and was like, yea i know...you have a clean record...he then told me that he was going to give me a verbal warning and that I had better fix 3 things...my front license plate...my tail light...and have proof of a "current" insurance. I just nodded my head and said yes sir...after he got into his car and left I got out and checked my light..and sure enough it was out. I then asked vince to come out and opened my trunk and just pushed the light a little bit and guess what....my tail light came on!

We left and went to Denny's and man....the police was there too...but it was a diff guy this time..luckily he didnt see the back of my car and just the front...but it wouldnt matter since I fixed the light already. We saw Cyrus come and park then we headed on in...while we were waiting to be seated...guess who comes thru the door....the same police man who gave me a verbal warning along with the other guy we saw..me and the police officer made eye contact and it was weird...he knew at that point the reason why he gave me a verbal warning...and why he didnt write me up...it was because he was meeting up with his friend and he was hungry! Lucky me, right?

Verbal Warning

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 07:33:11 GMT

Today is Friday...or at least it was like 20 mins ago...I signed up for a health care plan at work today. I never thought I would need one of those..I always thought that the military had my back....then I turned 23.

I guess its nice to have as back up in case something was to "befall" me. I mean, I dont plan on getting hit by a car..but I guess it can happen.

Stacy is leaving work next week. We will be short 1 receptionist. Stacy was cool for a white girl. Shes from Texas too just like me.

After work I was planning to go to the comic store to play the WoW card game but I decided to call up Vince and ask him to do something tonight...we ended up going to Plaza then to Palm to watch Borat.

The plaza thing turned out like w/e...we went there cuz Vince wanted to buy a Tomlinson jersey...we saw Lauren as we came in but we ignored her....then out of no where she calls my name and I turn around and acted suprised and was like, "Oh hey Lauren!" ...haha. I didnt want her to think that we come in there just to see only her, ya know. So Vince bought that and I bought some shoe cleaner..then she invited us to her b-day shin-dig that will be going on at D'land sometime in Jan...she said that they are going to rent a hotel or w/e...me and Vince were like "coooool..." but I doubt we will go.

After that we went to Gamestop and GSG was working...it felt a little awkward going in there after what happened on Myspace with GSG but I tried not making eye contact...she saw me for sure but there was a long line and it ended up that she didnt cashier me out when it was the next person in line thingy...I went there and put another $25 down for the Zune...I guess it was To Zune...rather than Not To Zune.

Anyways...watched Borat at Palm..it was funny. Its a film that you can only watch once and laugh..then its not so funny the next times around. After that we decided to meet up with Cyrus at Sweetwater Dennys...at which point when i was making my left to go into the Dennys thingy a cop pulls up right behind me and flashes his lights...man! that sux! I must have been pulled over like 4 times this year...theres more to it but Im falling asleep...got work in a couple hours...ill try finishing this at work tomorrow...still got LL to try = ) (crosses fingers)

Otay Ranch Mall...

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 04:25:36 GMT

Came back from Plaza..before that me and my mom went to the new Otay Ranch Mall...

It didn't like WOW WOW me...more like "hmmm..its aight"...its all outdoors...no 2-stories here...all ground lvl....

they have expensive stores there...Coach..Banana Republic...some stores I havent heard of but the cheapest thing there would be like $60...A LOT OF MEXICANS....

I even saw James and Mike there...that was weird though...I havent talked to mike in like a week...w/e...the food court was setup in the middle of it all..so you could like kick it there and see everyone pass by you...the middle of the avenues were streets...so you could basically drive around the mall and park in front of the store you want to shop at....a lot of walking though to get from place to place...same-o same-o as any other mall though...

After went to Plaza...I bought out the WoW cards at 2 stores...Hot Topic and Game Stop...hahahah...at Hot Topic I asked this guy how much the packs were..he was like 4.99..then I was like can i get them all...he said...yea man, take your pick..i was like...nah, I want them all...the whole box man....he was like, what? forealz?

He said...umm..i gotta ask my manager first..and I was like, why? he was like, because no one has ever bought the whole box before...I was like, whats the diff. between me buying 2 packs now...3 pack later...1 pack in a lil bit...its all the same...it'll just take more time for the both of us...then while he was cashing me out the manager comes out and she pulls the guy aside and was like...why are you selling him the whole box..the limit is 5 only...then she comes to me and was like, what are you going to do with these? I was like, open them up and use them? then she was like, no, I know you...youre going to sell these on Ebay for higher...then I laughed and was like so what if I am...what it is to you? she was like, you cant do that....thats illegal...we have people watching the Ebay auctions making sure no ones does that...I laughed again and looked her in the eye and was like, I sell Yugioh, pokeman, and these types of cards on ebay all the time...believe me, its perfectly legal...she looked at me and was like, no there not...I was like, just give me my cards...she then gave them to me and sarcastically said...have a nice day..I was like, ya w/e....

at Gamestop it was similar but no hassle...i asked the guy how much they were charging and he said 3.99 and I said can i get them all? and he was like...all of them? I was like the whole box...please...and he smiled and was like alright man, w/e you want...the only dumb thing he did was scan each one of them which took like 6 mins to do because he kept losing count or w/e...he could have scanned one and multiplied by how many there were...????

all-in-all i spent like ~$120 ....which is an investment...hopefully i get a good card or 3 and sell em and get my intial principal back...

coming soon... To Zune...or not to Zune?

WiFi

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 22:59:26 GMT

Whelps, yesterday I finally couldnt take it anymore and pretty much said "f*ck it"... I've been having problems with my internet connection...it would randomly just slow down and be normal at all times of the day...the internet connection at my work ( the very place where Im typing this) was faster than mine at home and they use DSL here... I called up Cyrus and asked him if he wanted to go with me to Fry's to check out their wireless routers and cards...I saw one in the paper that was hella cheap ( I ended up getting one that was not cheap in the end).

I dropped Cyrus off and opened up the packages and installed the stuff...I was pretty proud of myself when I got everything to work...it said on the box it would take an estimated time of 45 mins. to install and get everything working...I actually did it in about 20 for both computers at home = )

I called Cyrus over for some fine tuning but ultimately I did it myself. Hehe..I know its not rocket science but Im happy I did it by myself.

I recently purchased a box of World of Warcraft trading cards from the comic store...I opened up the box and I got this really rare card that you can scratch off like the lotto thing and put the code in the computer to get a special thing in the game WoW. I opened all the packs and put the individual cards on Ebay...they should be ending in like 3 days...Im hoping to break even with just a few cards and keep the rest so I can use them to play. I first found out about the cards when my and Abby went to Comic Con...we got some stuff signed by the guys over there...those are worth something too as long as they are in MINT condition. Im hoping to get a good price on those.

Tomorrow is Halloween and Im working...I was hoping that it wouldnt fall on a day that I work...but it did...w/e

I dont think anyone will be home to pass out the candy...that sux...Im the house that didnt pass out candy....I think they might egg my house for that...haha.

Currently listening to MCR (My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade "Cancer") <===== Good song

ABBY KEEP LISTENING TO THE CD!!!!

Oh yea...I got Killers to burn right and it plays just fine....I forgot who wanted a copy of that????

This coming Wed Im heading to court to make an appearance and pay for me and JM's thingy...Imma be the shit when I get there...since I already know the routine...I remember the last time I went there...you could tell who the first timers were because they looked all nervous and stuff....

Earlier I was in the x-ray room and just sleeping on top of the table...haha. I hope Im not radioactive now...

Imma go draw some pictures....